Paddling Together

My husband and I just got back from our honeymoon to Kauai! It was amazing, the island was beautiful, and our first traveling experience as Mr. and Mrs. was full of so many adventures! One of the things we were able to do while we were there was take a kayak trip that led us to a hiking trail through the jungle to a beautiful waterfall. It was so incredible and such a fun way to tour different parts of the island!

When you’re kayaking with another person you’ve really got to be in sink, paddling on the same side at the same time and keeping the same tempo. It sounds simple enough but it can get pretty tricky as you navigate against the flow of the river and into some very narrow and shallow channels. And If you do get out of rhythm you end up splashing each other, slowing down, and potentially tipping the boat. Thankfully, that last one didn’t happen to us but the other things did. It was really frustrating at the start of the trip. I was in the front thinking selfishly of my husband, “he can see what I’m doing, he should just be keeping pace with me! All he has to do is look ahead!”

I know what you’re thinking….and I already admitted…I SELFISHLY thought these things….

Well my little fit over the whole paddling situation didn’t ruin the whole day and the rest of the trip ended up being great!

But it really got me thinking, and in that thinking the Lord has shown me some awesome things that I want to share with you all…

In life, it’s really like we are in that kayak with Jesus. Paddling together down the river of life to destinations that hold hidden beauty. In our kayak Jesus is sitting in the front- leading and guiding, charting the route to our next destination. All we have to do is look ahead- to Jesus- and keep pace with him. It sounds simple enough right? And yet somehow, we can still manage to mess things up. We try to paddle too fast…to get ahead of God and His plans, to try to walk in OUR ways as if WE know best. Other times, we go too slow…we stay stagnant when God has told us to move. In both cases we lack faith and trust in God, oh how foolish our little hearts can be!

The beautiful thing about paddling with Jesus is that He doesn’t throw a fit (unlike myself) when we are lacking the common sense to look ahead or simply can’t keep up with Him. Instead, He is constantly looking back to us to encourage us, to grab hold of us, to steady our boats when we are near the tipping point. Even when we try to paddle our own way God’s gentle hand continues to guide, His loving arms hold us, He showers us with grace, and He will never jump ship and leave us to navigate the waters of life alone. He has called us his OWN and He is just waiting for us to paddle WITH Him.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Spring Cleaning and The Potter's Hand

Yep, it's getting to be that time again...spring is on its way!!! Spring is my favorite season. The air warms up, the smell of freshly cut grass fills the air, and everything seems to be new again. Maybe that's the part I love the most, everything that was dead in the winter comes to life with the freshness of spring.              It's a lot like the condition of our hearts.

We've all been there.

The seasons of life that just seem more like a dreary winter than a crisp warm spring day. We've all walked through them, the days that are dry, cold, filled with striving and harsh conditions. It's not fun, and yet those seasons are often necessary to bring about a change and newness in our lives.

I've been walking through a season like this myself lately. I am finding lately, that everyday seems like a confrontation with my sin and brokenness. I have been carrying a lot of stress about so many different things.
I could try to justify this condition away, however, the fact of the matter is, that I have CHOSEN to carry stress about these silly little things, rather than CHOOSING joy about the beautiful blessings the Lord has and is bringing into my life. What has been coming out of the abundance of my heart lately has not been pretty, what I am seeing in myself is that I am just as broken and sin-filled as anybody out there. It is not easy to look into your heart and see what a mess it is, but what the Lord can do to clean things up is really miraculous and beautiful...and that's something I'm learning about lately.

"But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him."- Jeremiah 18:4

We sure can do a lot to mess things up. We are always fighting a battle between our flesh and spirit and all too often, our flesh is the victor. Because of our sinful and wicked hearts, we come to the Father as the marred clay. The clay that is useless, lifeless, has nothing good to offer. But God, the skillful Potter, rebuilds us, redeems us, gives us a new name and shape. God, the Potter, crafts us into a beautiful vessel that can be used to serve, that has life, that is pleasing to Him.

Friends, only God can see our potential amidst all of our broken and spoiled pieces, and He has the skillful hands to not simply put us back together, but to make us completely new. Praise Him, and let Him do some spring cleaning in your heart today. It may not be pretty and probably won't feel so good, but it is only by clearing away what is the dead of winter, that spring time can come.

always,
Kaity

Remember What is Behind, and Looking Forward to What is Ahead

So 2014 is almost over and this year has really flown by. I am glad to have had the past two weeks off just so that I could take some time to breathe! To tell you all that 2014 has held and taught me would take up far too much room on this blog, but I can summarize it all into one word....WOW. This year has been so so exciting from finishing my degree, to my first year of teaching, to becoming engaged, and planning a wedding. At this time last year, I never could have even imagined all these things that were coming my way, it is absolutely crazy what happens when you just take the steps each day that God is asking you to take, look up! He is leading you to great things! 

2014 has been a year full of healing, full of restoration, full of powerful moments where I could do nothing else but stand in awe of how big my God is. 2014 has taken me to some great peeks and some low valleys, I have celebrated, rejoiced, and experienced challenge. 2014 has been a year to remember, it has held some life changing milestones, it will forever mark my life. But you know, I am really excited to put it behind me. That's crazy right?! Such an amazing year, filled with amazing moments, wouldn't you want to enjoy it? Yes, and I have, but the growth and lessons, and chapters of this year are over and as amazing as they have been, it is time to pick up what I have learned, take what God has shown me, and carry it all with me into the even more glorious adventures that 2015 will hold.

I could really say a lot about the various things I have learned in this year, but I will speak to the biggest lesson I have been experiencing. God's ways are so much different from our ways. His plans are so much better than any we could conjure up for ourselves. I'm a planner, I like to make plans, I like to know that things are going to happen, I like to know when they are going to happen. My life works in a schedule. And I like it that way. But this year, God threw my schedules and plans out the window and said, "trust me, let's walk." And I did. Sometimes not on my own, sometimes He was pushing me through, but we walked. You know what I discovered along the way? God is a very personal God. He doesn't just know things about us..He knows us. All of us. Every part, minute detail, deep concern, hidden secret, most precious longing. He knows. And when we are walking closely with Him, we get to experience how well He knows us, we get to know His great plans for us.

As 2015 comes, I want to continue this walk with my Savior. I want to continue to experience His deeply personal love, and His incredible plans for me. I want to know Him more, I want to learn to love Him better. 2015 is going to hold some more remarkable milestones, I'm getting married, changing my name, beginning a new life with my soon-to-be husband. 2015 will be another year to mark my life, but I don't want to make any plans for it (expect those wedding plans, they are kind of important!). I want to be available to walk with God alongside my husband, I don't want to miss out on the beautiful things He would have in store for us. I am stoked to discover them! Stay tuned to find out what they are.

Happy New Year my friends!
xo,
Kaity

The Lord bless you

    and keep you;

 

the Lord make his face shine on you

    and be gracious to you;

 

the Lord turn his face toward you

    and give you peace. 

-Numbers 6:24-26

Adventures in Room 416

I have been waiting for this morning for weeks now. The morning I could wake up with no alarm, throw a blanket over my shoulders, pour myself some Christmas coffee (it's really just regular coffee using a little bit of eggnog as creamer and sprinkled with nutmeg...mmmm...), and sit down in the quietness of the morning to write. No obligations looming in the back of my mind, no deadlines to worry about, no long list of to-do's to tackle.  Happy first day of Christmas break to me! My heart is happy.
This particular post has been working itself out in my mind for some time and I think it is time to put my fingers to the keys and type it out. In August, I began my first year of teaching. My assignment has been all-day Kindergarten in room 416. My co-teacher and I have a group of 22 precious students and each day they fill our lives with joy, challenge, and laughter.
I have had the time of my life teaching these little ones. Sure, there have been difficult days, even difficult weeks (warning: the first year of teaching your immune system really gets put through the ringer. Stalk up on vitamin C and clorox wipes.) there have been days I have felt maybe I'm just not cut out for this job, days I felt like I had failed each one of my students. But the good days in room 416 far outweigh the difficult ones. I have learned ALOT from my first five months of teaching. Those kids are showing me so much everyday, most recently, a few lessons on grace.

The first lesson: a direct reflection of the grace that God so lovingly and undeservingly pours out on me each day.
            I will admit it. There are days I just don't bring it. There are days I am just not as patient or gentle or kind as I need to be. But, it never fails in these days when I am selfishly feeling like a failure that one of my kids comes up, wraps their little arms around my legs with a tight squeeze and looks up to say, "you are the best teacher in the whole world!" I know. It melts my heart too. Every. Single. Time.
            These special little hugs show me how much grace my students hold out for me. These hugs say, "I know we can be a challenge, I know you are having a tough day, but I also know you are better than this and I want to give you another chance to show me." Over and over again, I am reminded of my gracious Heavenly Father, who shows this same grace to me all day everyday.

The second lesson: A reminder that I am responsible to reflect the grace of God to others. A reminder that God is so good to love us.
             So this is very similar to lesson #1 but I feel the need to give it a separate title. It's sort of the reverse of lesson #1 actually. To teach kindergarten, you really need to set your mind every day to serve. You walk into that classroom of course, to teach, but also to be a helper, to serve those kids so that they can learn how to do things for themselves. They are smarties, but they are also 5 and still need help tying their shoes, putting on their jackets, remembering daily tasks, and making rational decisions. Teaching math, phonics, and reading is the easy part. Helping, can sometimes be a challenge. "Tie my shoe!" "Fix my jacket!" "I'm telling on you for looking at me!"....ah the daily background music to my life! After reminding them to use their manners, and speak respectfully, I tie those shoes, I fix those jackets, I act as referee in the dramatic staring contest. And, after, very rarely receive a thank you, even a smile. They expect the service to be done for them. For a long time, it ate away at me. How do you not even say thank you?! I'm not a personal shoe-tier! But then, God gave me His eyes to see... "Kaitlyn, how many times a day do you say thank you when I tie your shoe, when I fix your  jacket, when I am the mediator of your trials?" (now of course, I'm not crazy, God doesn't really tie my shoes or fix my jackets but you catch the drift of conviction) It stopped me dead in my tracks. These kids need to be shown grace. The same grace they show me when I mess up. The same grace God pours out on each one of us EVERY TIME we spit in his face. These kids need grace!

I love my daily adventures in room 416. The marvelous thing about this job is that everyday is a different day and you never really know what exactly it will hold! I love everything I am learning, I love that I am growing as a teacher, I love that my kids are truly learning and learning a lot! And I love that God has used these kids to draw me closer to him!

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. - John 1:16 

Thank you Jesus.

xo,
Kaity

P.S. here is a look into Christmas time in my classroom, room 416 :)

   

Leftovers

Some people do a double take when I tell them Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Maybe that's because 99% of people say that theirs is Christmas. I understand, I LOOOOVVEEE Christmas too. In fact, later today I plan to put up my Christmas tree, and listen to Christmas music. But Thanksgiving ushers in this holiday season with the Macy's Parade, football games, delicious sights and smells of traditional foods, and loads of family fun. There's not a lot of decorating, no major hoopla in the media about it, no gift-giving, Thanksgiving comes in quietly and leaves us with warm memories of time spent with family and prepares us for a winter of holiday celebrations. It's fantastic.

My bias to this holiday may also be due to my extreme love of cranberries and stuffing, but we'll stick with what I was saying before. 

It's funny, because in all of my love for Thanksgiving, I don't love the leftovers. Well, that's not entirely true...I like leftovers but every time I eat them I'm reminded that they just are never as good as they were the first time around (with the exception of pumpkin pie, that is always delicious).

There's a connection to be made between thanksgiving leftovers and real life. It's something that I have been dealing with in my own personal life, and I'm sure I won't be alone in this. There are a lot of things to look forward to in life and I think God enjoys when we look forward to and anticipate the things He is going to bring us to and through next. He has created an exciting life for each one of us! However, I think trouble can easily brew with this when we spend so much time anticipating that we forget to be thankful and take joy in each day that leads us to those great things ahead. 

I'll be completely honest here and say that this is the place I've been living for a little while. I have spent so much energy and focus on all that is ahead, that I have forgotten to enjoy the whole road I have to take to get there. I have given my leftovers to a lot of people I love. My energy, my time, my focus, my joy, is all spent looking ahead at what is  right around the corner and the things that are happening in the everyday like, spending time with my parents and sister, enjoying my last few months at home, planning a wedding, the joys of my job as a kindergarten teacher, even just living in this season of engagement with my fiancé, they are all getting my second best, my leftover energy, joy, focus, and time. 

God's plans for us a marvelous, above anything we could dream up for ourselves, I know that full well. But He is also such a magnificent and loving father to never just make it about the finish line, He brings growth and blessings in the small, everyday experiences that can often seem mundane. So, next time you are focused on what is ahead, don't loose sight of what is happening in the process. Don't give out all of your leftovers, they aren't as good as the first serving. Find joy in the things that are happening everyday and be thankful for those small gifts (like tastebuds, because without them you couldn't have enjoyed all of that delicious food yesterday). Happy Thanksgiving!

I said yes!

It's a little overdue but, on September 13, 2014 in the quietness of the mountains, Joe got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I am engaged and God is so good and so very faithful. 

The Proposal: 
We had planned the night before to go on a hike, something we enjoy doing together and one of my favorite ways to disconnect from the busy city sights and sounds. That morning we grabbed some breakfast at the same place our relationship started, ironically, we even sat in the same booth. We made our way up the mountain and found a trail to take, it was a beautiful day and I had no clue what it was about to hold. We hiked for a while, taking several breaks (well, I thought they were breaks, really Joe was scouting THE spot) to enjoy the sights around us. We came to a place on the trail that overlooked a valley of trees, such a pretty view. Several hikers passed us and when it seemed like we were the only two people left on the mountain, Joe began so share with me his heart about our relationship over the past year. Each word was so carefully chosen and so genuine and everything he was revealing to me came at just the right time. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness and openness and a proposal was not even a thought in my mind, not even when I watched him get down on one knee. As he pulled out the tiny box, I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around what was really happening. And then came the question, THE question, "Kaitlyn, will you marry me?"  

I never had expectations or plans of how I wished to be proposed to. Not because I wasn't looking forward to the day it might happen, but because I believe whoever God would place in my life to walk beside forever, would know and understand who I am enough to make the perfect plan. Let me tell you, Joe had the perfect plan. On that mountain, in the quiet creation, away from crowds of gawking strangers and busy life-sounds, it was just me, Joe and Jesus. And I said yes to spending forever with the most wonderful man I know. 

Before Joe and I began dating, I wrote this prayer in my journal, "Lord, you have created and crafted this heart of mine. You know every crack, every detail of it. You love me with a love that no one else could ever show. God, I trust you to hold my heart. I know that if you have created someone to hold onto my heart along with you, then you will be faithful to bring him into my life at just the right time." A few weeks later, we started dating and never once has the promise of God's faithfulness seized to be evident in our relationship. Joe pursues me, he takes the time to hear and understand my heart. He has demonstrated his ability to lead well. He takes the time to pray with and for me, he encourages me and challenges me. His love for God's people inspires me. He is gentle, considerate, compassionate, and strong. He treats me with dignity and care. I am so abundantly blessed by his presence in my life and so thankful that God has brought us together! 

I've got to say, being engaged is pretty awesome and every day I look forward to the promise of the rest of our lives, I am excited to see what God has in store for us together. I can't wait to be Joe's wife!  

Flaunt What You've Got!

I've been thinking lately about a post I wrote several weeks ago, talking about exercising not to keep ourselves looking perfect in the world's eyes but to keep our temples of the Lord in the best form possible to accomplish His will (if you missed it, read Summer, Sunshine, and Something to Think On). In contemplating what I wrote then, it caused me to realize just how many areas of our lives we sacrifice our "made-in-His-image" selves for the sake of fitting in and gaining attention. One of the most prominent areas is our wardrobe.
I'm not hear to preach "modest is hottest"...at least not in the way you're probably used to hearing it. In fact, I am not a huge supporter of that saying in general for two reasons:
1.) Who defines 'modest'? how do we measure it? Oh sure, we all know the feeling of modesty when we see another girl who we consider to be dressed immodestly. Or, to the opposite, we know what it feels like to receive the, "did you really wear that?! here?!" stares and glares. But I want a substantial, objectively measurable definition.
2.) I hate, yes hate. I hate associating the word 'hot' or in this case 'hottest', with a person. I think it degrades them. I think it takes away from the beauty and value of who they are and who God created them to be. Now I get it, it's just a cleaver saying someone came up with to send a strong message quickly. I'm not saying we stone its author or burn the saying out of our vocabulary, I'm just telling you why you'll never catch me uttering the phrase. 
But, getting back to the heart of the issue at hand, our wardrobes sometimes get in the way of people seeing our true character. I know it can be tough to dress any other way when things that are "cute" or "in-style" leave little to the imagination but I'd like to raise a point I made in that previous blog post I referred to earlier...you were fashioned and created by the God of this universe who breathed life, beauty, value, loveliness, and dignity into you as He formed you, and I think part of the reason we maybe don't always buy into the "modesty" campaign is because we don't understand the enormity of that truth. 
you are valuable. 
you are beautiful. 
you are dignified. 
And, you do NOT need to prove that by showing the most skin while still maintaining the boundaries of socially acceptable dress. In fact, that proves just the opposite. When we make those decisions to display our physical attributes first, we are making a statement that says, "I have no value, I am not dignified" it comes across as a cry for attention. 
I will say it again, when God breathed life into you He gave you value, dignity, loveliness, and giftings and passions that individualize each and every one of us. THESE are your true attributes of beauty. THIS is your character. And, the way you dress should exude these qualities because they are truly who you are and what you are about. 

So go flaunt what God has given you, a dignified and lovely spirit! 

xo, 
Kaity