A Birth Story

     The winters in Las Vegas are nothing in comparison to most of the United States, but early in my pregnancy, I remember worrying about giving birth in the winter and freezing while I’m in labor and on my way to the hospital (isn’t it funny the things you worry about during pregnancy BEFORE you go through a pregnancy?! To my pre-birth-giving self I say: HA!). The day I F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. went into labor, I bundled up (for the 45 degree day…can you tell I’m a west coast girl?) and headed out for a morning walk. This had become the norm starting around week 37 when I was finally feeling too huge to get in my regular workouts. It was chilly and windy and the clouds were rolling in. It was a less than ideal weather day, but when you’re nearly two weeks past your due date and 1 day away from your scheduled induction, there are very few things that will stop you from attempting to get labor going! So after my walk, a shower, lots of yoga ball exercises, I took the advice of my mom and got out of the house to take my mind off of labor…or lack thereof.

     I was 13 days past my expected due date. I went to bed and woke up everyday that last month of pregnancy thinking today would be the day labor would start. All those days had come and gone and I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore! Although I will admit, I was going to miss the shock factor that came with passing my due date. If you’ve gone more than 40 weeks of carrying your little bundle of love, you know what I’m talking about…

          “Oh! When are you due?!”

               “Actually, last Tuesday!”

          Insert jaw drop

     All joking aside, I was absolutely ready to get this baby out, both my husband and I were so anxious to meet our son! While I was out I started to feel a little…strange…I was crampy and a little nauseous. My first thought was honestly not even labor. I remember thinking “well you’re SUPER pregnant and have probably walked about 4 miles today so…yeah you should go home and rest.” So home I went. Once I got home, the symptoms only increased and I started to think something might actually be happening. I sent a heads up text to my husband just in case this was actually IT.

     By the time my husband got home from work that night, I was sure I was in the early stages of labor. We ate dinner and tried to just relax and enjoy the evening. At this point, I still hadn’t felt any “real” contractions (at least not in the way they are described online…thanks for nothing WebMD). I was mostly just feeling crampy and would occasionally have to stop what I was doing until the cramp passed. Based on what I know now…those WERE contractions. Small, mild, early labor contractions (oh, pre birth-giving self…). Around 7pm on Wednesday evening, labor was intensifying enough that my husband wanted to start timing contractions. He was truly a rock star the entire time we were home. I really wanted to deliver naturally, so we stayed home to labor as long as possible. My husband timed every contraction and did such a good job of reading how I was progressing and feeling. With his help, I was able to labor at home long enough to get to the hospital at 7 cm of Dilation, textbook for natural delivery!

     I was pretty nervous about the labor and delivery part of pregnancy for all of the time leading up to it, but when the time came for all of it I had such a sense of calm and peace. I can only attribute that to the grace of God! He certainly has made our bodies to do miraculous things! Contractions were nothing like what I expected them to be. I mean, they were definitely the most intense and worst pain I’ve ever dealt with (and I know pain people. My torn LCL can vouch for that!), but they were manageable. I took the advice of women before me and breathed through each one with slow, natural breaths. I kept all of the lights off or dim. I pictured each contraction like a wave. I prayed for peace and strength (praise God, He gave it in abundance!!). I tried to remember that contractions last for 120 seconds MAX, especially during the worst of them! And with all of that, I never screamed, never griped, never demanded an epidural. Looking back, labor was really a beautiful experience.

     All of a sudden, the contractions felt different. They weren’t necessarily painful anymore, but  my body was definitely doing some weird stuff. It was…pushing? on its own? We got a nurse. I told her that I thought I was really ready to push, but after checking my cervix, I wasn’t quite at a 10. So she worked with us for another 45 minutes to help me control my body until I was really ready. She called my doctor and let me do two small pushes, which resulted in the baby crowning! Within 20 minutes, my doctor was in my room and I was pushing. 30 minutes later, our little son was here!

     I remember feeling astonished. I didn’t even have words. I couldn’t believe the miracle that God had designed in birth, in life..it was amazing! I didn’t cry or shout or exclaim. I was shocked and in awe! When they laid him on my chest for the first time, all the emotions came. He was (and still is) just so precious, he was God’s gift specifically designed for us! I think I was running on sheer joy and adrenaline for the first few hours after Lukas’ arrival. I had been up all night, yet I felt like I had energy enough to get through another day! It was so great to have him with us, to watch my parents hold their very first grandbaby, to watch my husband love his son, to see some of my other family members enjoy their first visit with the baby. I am so thankful for the miraculous way God has made our bodies to go through hours of such intensity, and still be able to be fully coherent and present for all the beautiful moments that follow the work.

     As I look back on my experience in delivering our little guy, I am full of gratitude. I am grateful for an awesome staff of nurses who were nothing short of helpful and encouraging, I am thankful for my rock of a husband who stayed calm, cool, and collected and helped me to do the same, I am thankful for a healthy delivery and the ability to endure the difficulties to go through all of it without medication, I am thankful for the amazing work of a marvelous Creator who has authored life which is, in itself, a miracle. The two sentences I kept speaking that first day were, “I can’t believe I just did that! I can’t believe he’s here!” My husband and I were excited and anxious about the adventures that were ahead for us.

     Today, this little guy is ONE! A whole year has passed, but I am more in awe of who God has made him to be today, than I even was that very first day of seeing him. We named our son Lukas Michael. Lukas means “light-giving” and Michael means “Who is like God?” Never have I known someone who fits their name so perfectly. This kid is FULL of light: his smile brightens the darkest parts of your day, his laugh warms the coldest parts of your heart, his funny actions and expressions are the most delightful. Lukas Michael reminds us every single day, that there is no one like God; Who, in His great mercy and love, called us to such an awesome assignment in parenthood. A calling that is both incredibly challenging and equally the greatest thing ever. We are grateful.

Soak It In

     A few months back, I was listening to a motherhood podcast where the woman being interviewed described child rearing as her, “refining fire”. Standing in my kitchen, scrubbing my counters, wearing my new little baby, I began to sob (not the cute hallmark movie actress sob either, more like the ugly cry you do when you’re watching said hallmark movies all alone). Her words just pierced the deepest places of my new mommy heart and the floodgates opened.

     At this time, I was about 3 months into my new gig as a stay at home mom, and I wasn’t entirely loving it in the ways it seemed I should be. I loved my son and was glad to be home to see him learn and grow, to nurture and care for him, but truth be told, I was feeling like my life had been derailed and I didn’t know how to find another track to catch the new train. But, when that woman on the podcast spoke truth into my kitchen, I felt like I was at least at the right station to find the railway God wants me to journey on.

     Let’s be real: motherhood is everything. It is every job. It is every day. It is every feeling and emotion. It is every moment. Motherhood is the highest high and the lowest low. It is the greatest joy of your heart and it’s deepest sorrow. It is exciting. It is exhausting. It is beautiful. It is messy. It is “I could do this any time, every day”. It is also “when does this end. I just can’t go on.” I am barely into one year of this miraculous assignment, but this much I have already figured out and experienced. There is a lot of pressure to be perfect in motherhood, to love every minute, to effortlessly float through the days and weeks and months. There is a lot of pressure to proclaim your martyrdom: “I give everything. I’m up all night. I haven’t slept in months. I haven’t showered in just as long. But it’s all worth it and here I am…” In those moments, sobbing in my kitchen, I was feeling all of this. I was feeling the everythings of motherhood, coupled with all of its pressures, and that’s when Jesus intervened.

     The most transparent I can be is to say this: I wasn’t “ready” to be a mom, but God made me one anyway. I didn’t want to quit the job I loved to stay home full time, but God asked to me anyway. I was praying for a reason to “have” to go back to work, but God didn’t provide one. Instead, He showed me the truth of the new state of my life: THIS is where He has brought me, THIS is the task He has assigned to me, THIS is the job He has given me to complete, and THIS is the fire He has chosen through which to refine me. Here, in motherhood, ME has to die. Not for the sake of being replaced by the life of my child, but rather for the sake of becoming the WHO that my Heavenly Father has carefully crafted for me to become. And, in all of my God’s goodness, grace, and mercy, He has chosen one of the most miraculous and precious ways in which to mold me to become more of that person: through this tiny boy I get to call “son”.

     I recently read a post on social media about why we need to stop telling moms to “cherish every minute”. The author of that post hit on a point that is so true: not every minute is something I really want to cherish. We are sinners, raising sinners, and sometimes each minute doesn’t hold all of God’s beauty and grace. Sometimes minutes hold the ugliness of our flesh and we would rather soon forget those minutes. While I agree with the heart of this woman’s message, to be real and genuine with one another, I also have to say that I don’t agree with her statements.

     I believe that motherhood is not just my refining fire, it is not just the refining fire of the woman on the podcast I mentioned at the beginning, but it is the refining fire of EVERY mother, everywhere. As such, God is using EVERY. SINGLE. moment of motherhood to mold us. The moments of peace and perfection, He’s using to make us more like him. The moments of repetition and the mundane, He’s using to make us more like him. The moments of fear and fatigue, He’s using to make us more like him. The moments of anger and lashing out, He’s using to make us more like him. The moments of humility and forgiveness, He’s using to make us more like him.

     My point is, sweet Mamma’s, let’s not look to compete, to be everything, to keep up, to die for the sake of our children, to sacrifice ourselves as martyrs for the attention and sympathy, to cherish every moment, to constantly think about how hard this job is, to try to forget the ugly times. Instead, let’s soak it all in. Let’s soak in the fact that the best, the good, the normal, and the worst parts of our time as mommies are all being used by the Lord Jesus to make us less of ourselves and more like him.

     I am not perfected in this state of soaking everything in. Like I said, I am still very very very fresh in my mommy-hood. But, I am actively working to practice soaking in the moments and hours and days and months of this job, because I do know that God is doing beautiful things in my heart each day through it all. And let me tell you, the blessings of life are that much richer, that much more meaningful, that much more joyful, and that much more MORE because of the little on God has given to my husband and I to raise up!

The Crime of Comparison

I’m sure we’re all quite familiar with the Theodore Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of all joy”. Immediately I read it and think, “duh”, it doesn’t take much to understand the meaning behind the quote. When we allow comparison in to our minds, it’s easy to allow our joy to be robbed. We find ourselves in want, rather than thanksgiving for what we have. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp, mostly because it’s such a FAMILIAR place to live. But, how often do we allow the truth of what the former president said to permeate our hearts and minds and change the way we live?

     I’ll tell you how often I do that…never. See, it’s one thing to know and understand something, it’s a completely other thing to actually allow it to influence the way you live.

     I have this competitive drive inside of me. If you really know me, I’m sure you’re not shocked. Constantly, I have to win. Everything. Always. I mean, I even compete with myself to see if I can make it through the grocery store in a quicker amount of time than last week. It’s ridiculous. And I know that. But I can’t help myself. I like to compete, and I like to compete well. It’s probably part of the reason why, after 25 years of life, comparison still crushes my heart and suffocates my mind. It’s something I’ve struggled with since I can remember, regular comparison to everyone about everything.

Is my body better than hers?

Does my makeup look as good as hers?

Are my outfits as put together as hers?

Am I as fun and conversive as she?

Can I play better than she can?

Are my lessons as good as that other teachers?

Are my giftings and talents as prevalent as hers are?

     These thoughts I have that compare me to others, could go on for ages! I’m sure I’m not alone, so why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we pit ourselves not only one against the other, but against our own selves, and the God who created us?! Well, quite simply, because we are sinners, and this is our plight. But that truth is not an excuse to allow this problem with comparison to keep us captive!

     When I was 12, I read a story about Amy Carmichael (missionary woman to India, opened the way for Indian missions, she’s quite the lady). Her achievements, though astounding, weren’t the parts of her story that most captivated me. Rather, it was the story within her story, about a lesson she learned as a young girl. As a child, she prayed every night that she would wake up and God would have given her blue eyes just like all the other English girls. Each morning, she raced to a mirror only to be sorely disappointed when she discovered God had not answered her prayers and had left her with her dull, boring, brown eyes. Years later, she finds herself serving the Lord in India, taking care of street children and ministering to women. The government tries to pursue her, threatening her life, and the lives of all those she’s been in contact. With the help of the local women, Amy disguises herself by tanning her skin and wearing a Burka. What else keeps her and all the others safe? Her brown eyes that help her to blend in with all the other Indian people! God knew what He was doing when He refused to answer young Amy’s prayers in the way she wanted them answered. He had a plan to use her far beyond what she could see as a child.  Had she been given blue eyes, could she have been as effective in India? How quickly would she have been caught? Would India be opened for missions the way it was after her work? We can only speculate. But God knows. He knew just how He wanted to use Amy, even down to giving her those dull, boring brown eyes.

     And, He knows just how He wants to use you and I.

     At 12, this story struck a chord so deep in my heart; it has branded me and changed me forever. It was the first time I realized that God didn’t make us all unique just so we’d be different. He made us all unique because He’s given us each a special and independent task to complete.

     It’s easy to look at our own qualities and features that we despise the most and think, “that might have worked for Amy, but I’m sure God doesn’t intend to use these thunder thighs/ my inability to filter my words/ my stutter/ my curly hair/ my freckles, etc. for His glory.” So maybe you’re right. Maybe some of the features He’s given you won’t be as obvious a benefit in your life’s work as it was for Amy Carmichael, but is that any less a reason to praise Him for what He’s given you.

     God’s given you LIFE, and that abundantly! Sure, there are things we can all do all the time to improve parts about ourselves (workout, control your tongue, practice kind speech, do things to improve the way you work professionally, study more), and we should strive to be the best we can be absolutely! But whom are we doing these things for? Is it for the glory of us, being the best and beating the rest? Or is it for the glory of the One who made us, to be used for a unique purpose in the best possible way?

     Comparison can be a crime, it can rob us of our joy, but worse, it causes us to lose sight of the truth. That God has made us each special and unique, called us to a specific task, and designed us (every square inch of our body, every aspect of our character) for His perfect work.  

I Wasn't Praying for a Husband, but He Still Showed Up!

  While many of my friends were reading Wait For Me and donning their “True Love Waits” rings/accessories/t-shirts/stickers (the early 00’s were really the time for these Christian Pop pieces), I was learning the value of purity for more than just saving yourself for marriage. While the girls in my youth group traded stories of how they just “bawled for hours last night” pouring out their hearts in prayer for their future husbands, or how they were “burdened” to write letters to him expressing all of their feelings, I sat back and wondered when the Mother Ship was coming back for them.

  Maybe that’s a little harsh, I should tell you I tried. I really, truly tried to sit before the Lord and pray for my future husband, I have so many wasted sheets of journal pages that simply read “Dear Future Husband,” and then nothing. In the end, that’s exactly what I had…nothing. No words to pray over the mysterious “him”, nothing I was burning to express to him as we waited for each other. What an emotionless wretch I was!

  No, no. That’s not the case at all. As a little girl, I loved my Barbie’s, but the drama of the on-again-off-again Barbie and Ken relationship was too much for me. I ADORED my dollhouse. There, a happy, healthy, successful family dwelled and I imagined up all kinds of Leave It To Beaver scenes for my perfect little family to play out. When I got a little older, I enjoyed the pre-teen Christian fictions about courtships and love. In my teens, I was a dedicated reader of Brio Magazine (once a magazine for Christian girls filled with articles of missions, devotions, and dating).  See! My emotions were there! As was the deep-seeded desire to someday be a wife.

  I wanted to be married, so why couldn’t I just start praying for the man I was supposed to marry! Well, that was just it. See, in those times of sitting before the Lord, feeling like a pathetic loser because it was just so awkward to pray for someone I didn’t even know yet, God was showing me something else…What if what I desired, wasn’t a part of His perfect will?

  Nowhere in the Word of God, does He promise that we will all be joined in marriage (except for the grand marriage when Christ will come to collect His Bride, the church), but He does promise that He has a perfect and prosperous plan for EVERY SINGLE ONE of His children! (See Jeremiah 29:11)

Sometimes, that perfect and prosperous plan of His doesn’t include the things we desire, even most deeply, including a husband.

When the Lord challenged me with the earlier stated question, I realized something. Part of my problem with the “true love waits” mantra was that it was leading so many to pray and seek THEIR will for THEIR lives. What I desired, even more that my perfect dollhouse dreams becoming my own reality, was to be in the center of the will of my Father. I wanted HIS will for the life HE gave me.

  I immediately stopped my pitiful attempts to pray for the husband I wasn’t even sure was coming, and began praying for the Lord to show me His will for my life and to prepare me for whatever that included.

  My desire for marriage didn’t fade away. In fact, it increased. I struggled a lot in early adulthood as I watched so many of my friends marry young. I wanted that too. But, because of what the Lord had revealed to me all those years ago, my heart was stirred to stop longing for my own desires and to seek again the will of God.  Because we serve a very faithful God, the more I prayed to know His will, the more He moved me to find it. Eventually, one of the moves He told me to make, lead me to meet a man named Joe…

  The Lord worked a lot of things out in both our lives to bring us together, and now we’re husband and wife! As I look back at our story, my most favorite part is that I don’t see God giving me what I wanted in bringing me into marriage with Joe, rather, I see God doing exactly what He promised and that is, showing me His perfect and prosperous will for me! And isn’t that the bigger picture for life? Isn’t that what we were made for? Isn’t that what we should so deeply desire?

“For everything was created by Him, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things have been created through Him and for Him.” –Colossians 1:16

  Friends, we were made FOR Him, FOR His glory!! Sometimes that means His glory is achieved through our covenant of marriage with another person, and other times this means He’s most glorified in us when we’re working solo. Either way, His glory should be our aim. He is good!

I know I’ve been long winded here, but I’d just like to end with a few clarifications.

  A.) I’m not trying to bash the “true love waits” campaign; I think it’s a nice idea. I know the Lord is pleased in mine and my husband’s purity entering into marriage, because it’s a testimony to the way we tried to love and cherish each other’s hearts. True love, really does wait.  

  B.) If you are praying for a husband, I’m not trying to mock you. Keep making your requests known to God, but I do ask you to check your heart. Are you praying for a husband because you find your worth in marriage, or is your heart really set on God’s ultimate will?

  C.) Marriage is a beautiful thing that God has created. I want everyone I know to get married just because I love being married so much! But church, we’ve got to stop. Do you know why it was so easy for so many young girls in my youth group to pray for their future husbands? To write love letters exposing the most intimate parts of their delicate and precious hearts? To hold their breath in anticipation every time a new guy walked into service thinking he just might be the one to put a ring on their finger? It’s because somewhere along the line, we made marriage THE thing. I’ve listened to many pastors tell me from the pulpit that I just need to wait patiently on the Lord for my spouse to come. THESE ARE EMPTY PROMISES YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS MAKING AND CERTAINLY CAN’T KEEP. God doesn’t declare that those who are called to be given in marriage are more righteous than those who are called to work for His Kingdom in singleness, so where do we get off implying that’s the case? Church, marriage is an amazing gift, I’m blessed by my own marriage on the daily, but let’s stop praying for all of the young people and singles to find their spouses. Instead, let’s start praying for each other differently. Let’s pray that EVERYONE would seek and know the perfect will of God for their lives whether single or married, so that they might BEST glorify the Father.

  I wasn’t praying for my future husband to show up. I was moving in the direction of God’s will for my life, trying my best to listen and obey, and in those moves God lead me to Joe.

4 Reasons Why You Won't Homeschool Your Children...And Then the Truth

I’ve been talking to a lot of people who have really strong opinions in the area of home schooling, yet they’ve never been homeschooled and never knew a homeschooled kid growing up. It wouldn’t be so bad, but then they find out I’m a product of homeschooling through my primary education and they don’t even pay attention to the first hand accounts of my own experiences. So I’m taking to the blog world.

There are a few disclaimers I’d like to lay out before we begin:

a.) I’m not writing this to say the EVERYONE should home school their children. I’m a teacher at a traditional school and I see the value of education in this form.

b.) I’m not writing this to bash traditional schooling, again, I’m a teacher. Please review disclaimer a.

c.) I do understand that not every home school kid had the great experiences I had, and this is not a blog to demean their hurt from experiences of their own. I am simply writing this because I’m tired of hearing some half-baked, poorly researched ideas of those who, frankly, don’t know what they’re talking about.

So here are the top 4 reasons why many will not home school their children…and then the truth of each:

1.  They’ll turn out to be social rejects that melt in the sun.

       It’s commonly thought that kids who are homeschooled either become or begin as those who don’t fit a similar mold to others in the peer-group. That they like the stereotype portrayed on TV or in books, actually wear Dungeons and Dragons capes and LARP in the park. Sometimes, that might be true, but didn’t we all know that same kid in high school? And he wasn’t even homeschooled…weird.

The truth: Sure, some home school families choose to separate themselves from most of the outside world, even (in extreme cases) demonstrating semi-cult-like behaviors, but they’re the rare exception. MOST home school families find ways to get their children outside (san cape) and explore the world around them. They even…wait for it…INTERACT with other human beings!

  

2. They won’t gain all of the experiences (or learning the important skill of basket-weaving) they need for the real world like they would in traditional school.

          Some people really claim this as a valid point to make. They think that home school kids are just holed up in their bedrooms all day calculating some crazy physics problems that will someday send rockets into space (because that’s never going to be useful) and they never get to make social exchanges, experience the value of winning and losing, or learn how to work and exchange ideas with others. If you’re home schooled you’re an island and apparently you’ll never learn problem-solving skills fit for the real world.

The truth: As a home school kid I faced bullies, put up with mean girls, developed great life-long friendships, learned how to win with grace and lose all the more gracefully, developed critical thinking skills (thanks goes out to my mom for making even spelling review time a philosophical discussion), and worked through problem-solving situations (this time I have to thank Aaron for never letting me win at Risk). I don’t buy this argument, not for a minute. I believe that home school environments can allow children to develop these and many other real-world applicable experiences. In fact, I think they’re even better when these experiences come their way because they have more one on one time WITH THEIR PARENTS (not strange teachers, faculty, school nurses or coaches) to discuss the situation at hand and how their choices impact their lives.

3. They’ll miss out on field trips and other fun, “school-y” things.

      Popular opinion says that home school kids are at a disadvantage because they missed out on that trip to the dairy in second grade, or they never experienced passing out Valentine’s to all the other little school kids. Shame on those home school parents for scarring their children for life! How will they ever make it as adults?!

The truth: In some cases, popular culture might be right. Maybe some HS kids never did visit the dairy nor did they ever experience the joy of bringing home dozens of boxes of those sugary hearts on Valentines Day. PSA: they were probably so busy doing other fun things, they didn’t even care. And now, they’re productive members of society. Another shocker, I did get my trip to the dairy, and every Valentines Day until the 8^th grade I gave out valentines to all of my friends and ate dozens of boxes of candy hearts. And I was homeschooled. How can this be?!

4. They will never get into college or find a job because no one hires home-schooled freaks.

          Talk in public circles has grown on this subject. While it actually is somewhat true that some colleges are considering home school students to be less valuable to their community than kids coming from traditional schools, mostly nothing is happening about it. Nonetheless, people will find any reason NOT to home school their children and this is another one of them.

The truth: Home school kids win again! They’re at an advantage here for several reasons:

1. People actually DO hire homeschooled kids and because their academic day isn’t stretched to fit some ridiculous 8-hor time frame, they can (and many do) begin working at 15 with more flexibility and availability for work hours. So, they’re learning work ethic and how to participate in a work environment earlier than their traditional school counterparts.

2. Home school kids test higher on entrance/exit/standard tests. There’s a lot of differing in opinions as to why this is, but from experience, I can say it is true and much of it has to do with the fact that such little time is wasted in a school day.

3. Because of #2 they’re already set up for success and have higher graduation rates than their traditional school peers. Statistics don’t lie (except when the do) but these ones are legit. More homeschooled kids graduate college than those who come from public or private schools. Again, lots of ideas floating around the public square, but I’ve got to think again that those one-on-one discussions about problem-solving had to have something to do with it.

If you’re still with me, I thank you. I hope that at the very least, you chuckled through some of these misconceptions and notions. Just as at the beginning I’d like to re-iterate, I am a teacher. I love to teach, and I see so much value in traditional schooling. But I can’t forget where I come from. I was a home school kid until the 9^th grade, when I entered a private high school and flourished thanks to the hard work and dedication my mom put in to making sure grades k-8 were packed with knowledge and experience.

I wanted to take a knock at some of these ideals because I think it’s important we address the real issue. It’s not for these reasons you’re not home schooling your children, YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO. It’s too much work/time, you’re afraid you’re not smart enough; you don’t want to ruin your relationship with your kids (another lie but that’s separate issue), etc. And I’ve got to tell you all of those reasons are JUST FINE. We all have different calls and convictions before the Lord and we need to stand by them. But lets stand by them honestly and stop making lame and even hurtful excuses and falsities as to why we aren’t doing what other people think we should. Rather, let’s stand in confidence knowing God calls some of us to teach our children in the home while He calls others to endeavor in the workforce. If you’re among the latter group, I would like to thank you for standing by your convictions and entrusting people like myself, teachers, with your precious ones.

But Even If Not...

A few weeks ago in church, we had a message on this phrase and it's seemed to play and replay in my mind since.
In Daniel chapter three the king, Nebuchadnezzar, decides to build this towering statue that is to be worshiped by pretty much everyone in his realm. Earlier in the book, he had brought in these four Jewish boys to work for him. At the time of this worship ceremony, three of them were noted to be in attendance: Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego. The ceremonial music began and everyone bowed down to the kings statue....except those three. The king was baffled, why wouldn't everyone want to fall at his command?! So, he tried again and this time he gave them an ultimatum, "But if you do not worship, you will immediately be cast into the midst of a furnace of blazon fire; and what god is there who can deliver you out of my hands?" (Daniel 3:15, emphasis mine)
Now, given those options, what would you choose? But before you answer that, here is their response:
"O Nebuchadnezzar we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18)

Three things we can take away from Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego in their response to the king:

1. "He is able..." and "He will"-They knew the God whom they served (the LIVING God) was mighty to save them. Do we trust the same to be true in our own lives? I don't know about any of you, but I've never had my life threatened with the ultimatum of being thrown into a fiery furnace. If these three could have a firm faith in God as both rescuer and deliverer when faced with that kind of threat, then I am without excuse.

2. Their minds were on eternity- These guys knew their lives had an expiration date. They also knew the One who set it. For these men, there was no compromising. Live or die, they knew they answered to the Lord on High and NO MATTER THE THREAT only He can give live and ONLY He can take it away. They trusted and knew that if they were to die, it wouldn't be at the hands of a human king, but at the appointment of the Almighty.

3. "But even if not"- It would be easy for us to look at this phrase and say "Oh see, they don't have that much faith. They're clearly doubting that God can actually save them". It would be easy, but we would probably only be trying to justify our own lack of faith. This is not an example of doubt at all, but more proof of their faith . What these men show us in saying this is a recognition in knowing that God owes them nothing. He can choose to save them or He can choose to let them burn. And if He chooses the latter and it changes the way they perceive Him (as having less power and ability), then their witness and faith in God would be futile.

 You know, I find it interesting that this is the last time we read of these men for the entire rest of the book. They do survive the fiery furnace in a miraculous way (I encourage you to read Daniel chapter three to see how), but they are never heard from again in the book. What an example they leave behind.

Lately, God's brought some challenging situations into my life and I've had to make a choice will I bow and compromise and let my faith and knowledge of who God is just disintegrate? Or will I say, "even if not"?

When everyone else chooses to bow, I want to be the one standing.

Even if not,

He is still faithful

He is still good

I WILL still serve Him.

The Truth about the Lies

"You would never be good at that." "don't even waste your time, you'll just fail anyway." "you're too fat." "you're too skinny." 'you could never pull that off." "that's not your place." "you don't fit in here." "this is not where you belong." We've all heard it before....no? Okay, let's make it more personal then...

YOU fill in the blank,
"If you're not ______________, you're just not enough." 

Ouch.

When did life become about keeping up with the Joneses (or would it be more relevant for me to say Kardashians...or other people's Facebook statuses)?
Trust me, in this aspect of life, I can say I am the greatest of sinners. I've believed more lies than I could or care to count (boy, aren't you glad Love keeps NO record of wrongs?! phew). I understand the appeal to chase after them in hopes of conquering their abuse in our lives, but at the end of the day...WHY are we chasing them? These lies stand as scores in the comparison tournament. Sometimes the competitors in that tournament are just ourselves and other times we have several visiting opponents. Regardless of who the face-off is against, this battle for comparison is never ending. And it will always end in defeat for both present parties.
They're enticing, I know. They're believable, I understand. Sometimes we just aren't strong enough to recognize them, been there. They hold a lot of power over us, yes, but we need to recognize the ultimate source of our weakness here. It is not in falling for the deception or sinking in defeat of it. The real issue is that we have forgotten THE truth.

I'm not talking about the simple truths that are the antithesis of these lies, no, we have forgotten the Ultimate Source of Truth. Christ Jesus. The real problem here is not that the lies come, that fact does not display our weakness but rather, is a result of living in this flesh. The real problem is that when they come we so easily fall prey to them rather than seeking our King Jesus to see what He has to say, to remember His power and might, and to know how He defines us. The only comparison game we should really be playing here is comparing ourselves to becoming more like Christ. Will we fail? Oh, absolutely! But He gives grace in that. The definition of our life does not come through titles, occupations, dress sizes, or style. The definition of our life comes from the Lord God, and the fact that He has loved us enough to give us this breath makes us enough. If you're tired of trying to beat the lies...good! If you're sick of falling for the deception....good! The power of God and His love for us is greater than the power of the lies, it is more empowering than the deception, and it is the only way to defeat the falsities.

Still struggling to believe it's true? Here's just a glimpse of what God thinks of you:

-He calls you His child [John 1:12]

-He calls you redeemed [Romans 3:24]

- He calls you His friend [John 15:15]

-He promises to take care of you [Matthew 6:26]

-He will meet our needs [Philippians 4:19]

-He opens His arms for refuge [Deuteronomy 33:27]

- He has made you His heir [Romans 8:17]

-He accepts you [Romans 15:7]

-He has set you free from sin and death [Romans 8:2]

Paddling Together

My husband and I just got back from our honeymoon to Kauai! It was amazing, the island was beautiful, and our first traveling experience as Mr. and Mrs. was full of so many adventures! One of the things we were able to do while we were there was take a kayak trip that led us to a hiking trail through the jungle to a beautiful waterfall. It was so incredible and such a fun way to tour different parts of the island!

When you’re kayaking with another person you’ve really got to be in sink, paddling on the same side at the same time and keeping the same tempo. It sounds simple enough but it can get pretty tricky as you navigate against the flow of the river and into some very narrow and shallow channels. And If you do get out of rhythm you end up splashing each other, slowing down, and potentially tipping the boat. Thankfully, that last one didn’t happen to us but the other things did. It was really frustrating at the start of the trip. I was in the front thinking selfishly of my husband, “he can see what I’m doing, he should just be keeping pace with me! All he has to do is look ahead!”

I know what you’re thinking….and I already admitted…I SELFISHLY thought these things….

Well my little fit over the whole paddling situation didn’t ruin the whole day and the rest of the trip ended up being great!

But it really got me thinking, and in that thinking the Lord has shown me some awesome things that I want to share with you all…

In life, it’s really like we are in that kayak with Jesus. Paddling together down the river of life to destinations that hold hidden beauty. In our kayak Jesus is sitting in the front- leading and guiding, charting the route to our next destination. All we have to do is look ahead- to Jesus- and keep pace with him. It sounds simple enough right? And yet somehow, we can still manage to mess things up. We try to paddle too fast…to get ahead of God and His plans, to try to walk in OUR ways as if WE know best. Other times, we go too slow…we stay stagnant when God has told us to move. In both cases we lack faith and trust in God, oh how foolish our little hearts can be!

The beautiful thing about paddling with Jesus is that He doesn’t throw a fit (unlike myself) when we are lacking the common sense to look ahead or simply can’t keep up with Him. Instead, He is constantly looking back to us to encourage us, to grab hold of us, to steady our boats when we are near the tipping point. Even when we try to paddle our own way God’s gentle hand continues to guide, His loving arms hold us, He showers us with grace, and He will never jump ship and leave us to navigate the waters of life alone. He has called us his OWN and He is just waiting for us to paddle WITH Him.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Spring Cleaning and The Potter's Hand

Yep, it's getting to be that time again...spring is on its way!!! Spring is my favorite season. The air warms up, the smell of freshly cut grass fills the air, and everything seems to be new again. Maybe that's the part I love the most, everything that was dead in the winter comes to life with the freshness of spring.              It's a lot like the condition of our hearts.

We've all been there.

The seasons of life that just seem more like a dreary winter than a crisp warm spring day. We've all walked through them, the days that are dry, cold, filled with striving and harsh conditions. It's not fun, and yet those seasons are often necessary to bring about a change and newness in our lives.

I've been walking through a season like this myself lately. I am finding lately, that everyday seems like a confrontation with my sin and brokenness. I have been carrying a lot of stress about so many different things.
I could try to justify this condition away, however, the fact of the matter is, that I have CHOSEN to carry stress about these silly little things, rather than CHOOSING joy about the beautiful blessings the Lord has and is bringing into my life. What has been coming out of the abundance of my heart lately has not been pretty, what I am seeing in myself is that I am just as broken and sin-filled as anybody out there. It is not easy to look into your heart and see what a mess it is, but what the Lord can do to clean things up is really miraculous and beautiful...and that's something I'm learning about lately.

"But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him."- Jeremiah 18:4

We sure can do a lot to mess things up. We are always fighting a battle between our flesh and spirit and all too often, our flesh is the victor. Because of our sinful and wicked hearts, we come to the Father as the marred clay. The clay that is useless, lifeless, has nothing good to offer. But God, the skillful Potter, rebuilds us, redeems us, gives us a new name and shape. God, the Potter, crafts us into a beautiful vessel that can be used to serve, that has life, that is pleasing to Him.

Friends, only God can see our potential amidst all of our broken and spoiled pieces, and He has the skillful hands to not simply put us back together, but to make us completely new. Praise Him, and let Him do some spring cleaning in your heart today. It may not be pretty and probably won't feel so good, but it is only by clearing away what is the dead of winter, that spring time can come.

always,
Kaity

Remember What is Behind, and Looking Forward to What is Ahead

So 2014 is almost over and this year has really flown by. I am glad to have had the past two weeks off just so that I could take some time to breathe! To tell you all that 2014 has held and taught me would take up far too much room on this blog, but I can summarize it all into one word....WOW. This year has been so so exciting from finishing my degree, to my first year of teaching, to becoming engaged, and planning a wedding. At this time last year, I never could have even imagined all these things that were coming my way, it is absolutely crazy what happens when you just take the steps each day that God is asking you to take, look up! He is leading you to great things! 

2014 has been a year full of healing, full of restoration, full of powerful moments where I could do nothing else but stand in awe of how big my God is. 2014 has taken me to some great peeks and some low valleys, I have celebrated, rejoiced, and experienced challenge. 2014 has been a year to remember, it has held some life changing milestones, it will forever mark my life. But you know, I am really excited to put it behind me. That's crazy right?! Such an amazing year, filled with amazing moments, wouldn't you want to enjoy it? Yes, and I have, but the growth and lessons, and chapters of this year are over and as amazing as they have been, it is time to pick up what I have learned, take what God has shown me, and carry it all with me into the even more glorious adventures that 2015 will hold.

I could really say a lot about the various things I have learned in this year, but I will speak to the biggest lesson I have been experiencing. God's ways are so much different from our ways. His plans are so much better than any we could conjure up for ourselves. I'm a planner, I like to make plans, I like to know that things are going to happen, I like to know when they are going to happen. My life works in a schedule. And I like it that way. But this year, God threw my schedules and plans out the window and said, "trust me, let's walk." And I did. Sometimes not on my own, sometimes He was pushing me through, but we walked. You know what I discovered along the way? God is a very personal God. He doesn't just know things about us..He knows us. All of us. Every part, minute detail, deep concern, hidden secret, most precious longing. He knows. And when we are walking closely with Him, we get to experience how well He knows us, we get to know His great plans for us.

As 2015 comes, I want to continue this walk with my Savior. I want to continue to experience His deeply personal love, and His incredible plans for me. I want to know Him more, I want to learn to love Him better. 2015 is going to hold some more remarkable milestones, I'm getting married, changing my name, beginning a new life with my soon-to-be husband. 2015 will be another year to mark my life, but I don't want to make any plans for it (expect those wedding plans, they are kind of important!). I want to be available to walk with God alongside my husband, I don't want to miss out on the beautiful things He would have in store for us. I am stoked to discover them! Stay tuned to find out what they are.

Happy New Year my friends!
xo,
Kaity

The Lord bless you

    and keep you;

 

the Lord make his face shine on you

    and be gracious to you;

 

the Lord turn his face toward you

    and give you peace. 

-Numbers 6:24-26

Adventures in Room 416

I have been waiting for this morning for weeks now. The morning I could wake up with no alarm, throw a blanket over my shoulders, pour myself some Christmas coffee (it's really just regular coffee using a little bit of eggnog as creamer and sprinkled with nutmeg...mmmm...), and sit down in the quietness of the morning to write. No obligations looming in the back of my mind, no deadlines to worry about, no long list of to-do's to tackle.  Happy first day of Christmas break to me! My heart is happy.
This particular post has been working itself out in my mind for some time and I think it is time to put my fingers to the keys and type it out. In August, I began my first year of teaching. My assignment has been all-day Kindergarten in room 416. My co-teacher and I have a group of 22 precious students and each day they fill our lives with joy, challenge, and laughter.
I have had the time of my life teaching these little ones. Sure, there have been difficult days, even difficult weeks (warning: the first year of teaching your immune system really gets put through the ringer. Stalk up on vitamin C and clorox wipes.) there have been days I have felt maybe I'm just not cut out for this job, days I felt like I had failed each one of my students. But the good days in room 416 far outweigh the difficult ones. I have learned ALOT from my first five months of teaching. Those kids are showing me so much everyday, most recently, a few lessons on grace.

The first lesson: a direct reflection of the grace that God so lovingly and undeservingly pours out on me each day.
            I will admit it. There are days I just don't bring it. There are days I am just not as patient or gentle or kind as I need to be. But, it never fails in these days when I am selfishly feeling like a failure that one of my kids comes up, wraps their little arms around my legs with a tight squeeze and looks up to say, "you are the best teacher in the whole world!" I know. It melts my heart too. Every. Single. Time.
            These special little hugs show me how much grace my students hold out for me. These hugs say, "I know we can be a challenge, I know you are having a tough day, but I also know you are better than this and I want to give you another chance to show me." Over and over again, I am reminded of my gracious Heavenly Father, who shows this same grace to me all day everyday.

The second lesson: A reminder that I am responsible to reflect the grace of God to others. A reminder that God is so good to love us.
             So this is very similar to lesson #1 but I feel the need to give it a separate title. It's sort of the reverse of lesson #1 actually. To teach kindergarten, you really need to set your mind every day to serve. You walk into that classroom of course, to teach, but also to be a helper, to serve those kids so that they can learn how to do things for themselves. They are smarties, but they are also 5 and still need help tying their shoes, putting on their jackets, remembering daily tasks, and making rational decisions. Teaching math, phonics, and reading is the easy part. Helping, can sometimes be a challenge. "Tie my shoe!" "Fix my jacket!" "I'm telling on you for looking at me!"....ah the daily background music to my life! After reminding them to use their manners, and speak respectfully, I tie those shoes, I fix those jackets, I act as referee in the dramatic staring contest. And, after, very rarely receive a thank you, even a smile. They expect the service to be done for them. For a long time, it ate away at me. How do you not even say thank you?! I'm not a personal shoe-tier! But then, God gave me His eyes to see... "Kaitlyn, how many times a day do you say thank you when I tie your shoe, when I fix your  jacket, when I am the mediator of your trials?" (now of course, I'm not crazy, God doesn't really tie my shoes or fix my jackets but you catch the drift of conviction) It stopped me dead in my tracks. These kids need to be shown grace. The same grace they show me when I mess up. The same grace God pours out on each one of us EVERY TIME we spit in his face. These kids need grace!

I love my daily adventures in room 416. The marvelous thing about this job is that everyday is a different day and you never really know what exactly it will hold! I love everything I am learning, I love that I am growing as a teacher, I love that my kids are truly learning and learning a lot! And I love that God has used these kids to draw me closer to him!

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. - John 1:16 

Thank you Jesus.

xo,
Kaity

P.S. here is a look into Christmas time in my classroom, room 416 :)

   

Leftovers

Some people do a double take when I tell them Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Maybe that's because 99% of people say that theirs is Christmas. I understand, I LOOOOVVEEE Christmas too. In fact, later today I plan to put up my Christmas tree, and listen to Christmas music. But Thanksgiving ushers in this holiday season with the Macy's Parade, football games, delicious sights and smells of traditional foods, and loads of family fun. There's not a lot of decorating, no major hoopla in the media about it, no gift-giving, Thanksgiving comes in quietly and leaves us with warm memories of time spent with family and prepares us for a winter of holiday celebrations. It's fantastic.

My bias to this holiday may also be due to my extreme love of cranberries and stuffing, but we'll stick with what I was saying before. 

It's funny, because in all of my love for Thanksgiving, I don't love the leftovers. Well, that's not entirely true...I like leftovers but every time I eat them I'm reminded that they just are never as good as they were the first time around (with the exception of pumpkin pie, that is always delicious).

There's a connection to be made between thanksgiving leftovers and real life. It's something that I have been dealing with in my own personal life, and I'm sure I won't be alone in this. There are a lot of things to look forward to in life and I think God enjoys when we look forward to and anticipate the things He is going to bring us to and through next. He has created an exciting life for each one of us! However, I think trouble can easily brew with this when we spend so much time anticipating that we forget to be thankful and take joy in each day that leads us to those great things ahead. 

I'll be completely honest here and say that this is the place I've been living for a little while. I have spent so much energy and focus on all that is ahead, that I have forgotten to enjoy the whole road I have to take to get there. I have given my leftovers to a lot of people I love. My energy, my time, my focus, my joy, is all spent looking ahead at what is  right around the corner and the things that are happening in the everyday like, spending time with my parents and sister, enjoying my last few months at home, planning a wedding, the joys of my job as a kindergarten teacher, even just living in this season of engagement with my fiancé, they are all getting my second best, my leftover energy, joy, focus, and time. 

God's plans for us a marvelous, above anything we could dream up for ourselves, I know that full well. But He is also such a magnificent and loving father to never just make it about the finish line, He brings growth and blessings in the small, everyday experiences that can often seem mundane. So, next time you are focused on what is ahead, don't loose sight of what is happening in the process. Don't give out all of your leftovers, they aren't as good as the first serving. Find joy in the things that are happening everyday and be thankful for those small gifts (like tastebuds, because without them you couldn't have enjoyed all of that delicious food yesterday). Happy Thanksgiving!

I said yes!

It's a little overdue but, on September 13, 2014 in the quietness of the mountains, Joe got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I am engaged and God is so good and so very faithful. 

The Proposal: 
We had planned the night before to go on a hike, something we enjoy doing together and one of my favorite ways to disconnect from the busy city sights and sounds. That morning we grabbed some breakfast at the same place our relationship started, ironically, we even sat in the same booth. We made our way up the mountain and found a trail to take, it was a beautiful day and I had no clue what it was about to hold. We hiked for a while, taking several breaks (well, I thought they were breaks, really Joe was scouting THE spot) to enjoy the sights around us. We came to a place on the trail that overlooked a valley of trees, such a pretty view. Several hikers passed us and when it seemed like we were the only two people left on the mountain, Joe began so share with me his heart about our relationship over the past year. Each word was so carefully chosen and so genuine and everything he was revealing to me came at just the right time. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness and openness and a proposal was not even a thought in my mind, not even when I watched him get down on one knee. As he pulled out the tiny box, I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around what was really happening. And then came the question, THE question, "Kaitlyn, will you marry me?"  

I never had expectations or plans of how I wished to be proposed to. Not because I wasn't looking forward to the day it might happen, but because I believe whoever God would place in my life to walk beside forever, would know and understand who I am enough to make the perfect plan. Let me tell you, Joe had the perfect plan. On that mountain, in the quiet creation, away from crowds of gawking strangers and busy life-sounds, it was just me, Joe and Jesus. And I said yes to spending forever with the most wonderful man I know. 

Before Joe and I began dating, I wrote this prayer in my journal, "Lord, you have created and crafted this heart of mine. You know every crack, every detail of it. You love me with a love that no one else could ever show. God, I trust you to hold my heart. I know that if you have created someone to hold onto my heart along with you, then you will be faithful to bring him into my life at just the right time." A few weeks later, we started dating and never once has the promise of God's faithfulness seized to be evident in our relationship. Joe pursues me, he takes the time to hear and understand my heart. He has demonstrated his ability to lead well. He takes the time to pray with and for me, he encourages me and challenges me. His love for God's people inspires me. He is gentle, considerate, compassionate, and strong. He treats me with dignity and care. I am so abundantly blessed by his presence in my life and so thankful that God has brought us together! 

I've got to say, being engaged is pretty awesome and every day I look forward to the promise of the rest of our lives, I am excited to see what God has in store for us together. I can't wait to be Joe's wife!  

Flaunt What You've Got!

I've been thinking lately about a post I wrote several weeks ago, talking about exercising not to keep ourselves looking perfect in the world's eyes but to keep our temples of the Lord in the best form possible to accomplish His will (if you missed it, read Summer, Sunshine, and Something to Think On). In contemplating what I wrote then, it caused me to realize just how many areas of our lives we sacrifice our "made-in-His-image" selves for the sake of fitting in and gaining attention. One of the most prominent areas is our wardrobe.
I'm not hear to preach "modest is hottest"...at least not in the way you're probably used to hearing it. In fact, I am not a huge supporter of that saying in general for two reasons:
1.) Who defines 'modest'? how do we measure it? Oh sure, we all know the feeling of modesty when we see another girl who we consider to be dressed immodestly. Or, to the opposite, we know what it feels like to receive the, "did you really wear that?! here?!" stares and glares. But I want a substantial, objectively measurable definition.
2.) I hate, yes hate. I hate associating the word 'hot' or in this case 'hottest', with a person. I think it degrades them. I think it takes away from the beauty and value of who they are and who God created them to be. Now I get it, it's just a cleaver saying someone came up with to send a strong message quickly. I'm not saying we stone its author or burn the saying out of our vocabulary, I'm just telling you why you'll never catch me uttering the phrase. 
But, getting back to the heart of the issue at hand, our wardrobes sometimes get in the way of people seeing our true character. I know it can be tough to dress any other way when things that are "cute" or "in-style" leave little to the imagination but I'd like to raise a point I made in that previous blog post I referred to earlier...you were fashioned and created by the God of this universe who breathed life, beauty, value, loveliness, and dignity into you as He formed you, and I think part of the reason we maybe don't always buy into the "modesty" campaign is because we don't understand the enormity of that truth. 
you are valuable. 
you are beautiful. 
you are dignified. 
And, you do NOT need to prove that by showing the most skin while still maintaining the boundaries of socially acceptable dress. In fact, that proves just the opposite. When we make those decisions to display our physical attributes first, we are making a statement that says, "I have no value, I am not dignified" it comes across as a cry for attention. 
I will say it again, when God breathed life into you He gave you value, dignity, loveliness, and giftings and passions that individualize each and every one of us. THESE are your true attributes of beauty. THIS is your character. And, the way you dress should exude these qualities because they are truly who you are and what you are about. 

So go flaunt what God has given you, a dignified and lovely spirit! 

xo, 
Kaity

Graduation, Career Paths, and God's Plan

So, we've got one more day of this squat challenge! I hope you've all challenged yourselves to stick it out and finish strong!! 

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me. I started my LAST class to complete my BS in Kinesiology, this past monday. All of the time and effort I have put in to it is almost done. I'm excited to meet this milestone and achieve this goal that I have had to graduate.With graduation fast approaching, I started applying for new jobs a few weeks ago. It's always a strange feeling when you're watching a new season of your life approach, it's exciting and nerve wrecking all at the same time and as I began to apply for new jobs in the "real world", I was facing all of these emotions. I found a posting for a particular position and began to do some research on the employer. It took almost no time for me to get excited and passionate about the position, the company, and the opportunity. So, on Sunday afternoon, I sent in my resume and application. And by friday I was offered employment with them. It was one intense week!

Through these weeks the Lord has been so incredibly faithful to me. As the craziness of this week unfolded...actually the craziness has been happening all summer and just sort of came to a high point through this week...I was confronted by every fear I have, every negative thought I think about myself, extreme emotions and nervousness. I was mentally and emotionally weary, but every time one of these fears or negative thoughts or nervous breakdowns began to approach, I was covered by a Peace that surpasses all understanding. It was in these moments that God quietly and tenderly whispered the truth of His love over me, and reminded me of who I am in Him and that He is more than enough for me. I began to realize that my life is in His hands, that He has good things for me, and that if He doesn't open the door for this job then that just means that He has better things in store for me. It was remembering this truth, that gave me the confidence to walk through each opportunity knowing the Lord had gone before me, and the victory belongs to Him and Him alone. 

Beautiful things happen when we say, "yes" to God and allow Him to lead and guid (okay, sometimes drag) us through difficult and scary situations. We begin to see His hand at work, we are able to see that He really does protect, provide, and pave the way to His plans for us that are prosperous, that give us a future and a hope (see Jeremiah 29:11 for the fullness of this promise). One verse in particular that the Lord showed me as I was spending some quiet time with Him this week, is Psalm 40:5 and it says, "May, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done and Your thoughts toward us, there is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count." This verse just solidified for me, the truth that God has a plan and a purpose for my life and with trust and faith and a willing heart to walk where He calls me, He will be faithful to complete that work and fulfill all of His promises. He is GOOD, He has good things for each of us, and wants to take us all on an incredible adventure of a life!

30 day fitness challenge

Hi friends! Yesterday we warmed up with a reminder as to why it is really important to take care of our bodies. Today, we put those words into action. I wanted to give you all something you could do anywhere, so we are starting our first challenge off with squats. I know...they're not my favorite either, but you don't need any gym equipment, you can do them anywhere and they are great exercise that helps strengthen your legs and core! 

Day 1 (that would be today, don't wait for monday to come!): 30 Squats

Day 2: 50 Squats 

Day 3: 75 Squats

Day 4: 60 Squats 

Day 5: Rest Day 

Day 6: 60 Squats

Day 7: 90 Squats

Day 8: 50 Squats

Day 9: 45 Squats

Day 10: Rest Day

Day 11: 120 Squats

Day 12: 40 Squats

Day 13: 75 Squats

Day 14: 125 Squats

Day 15: Rest Day (We are half way through this, keep going!) 

Day 16: 80 Squats

Day 17: 50 Squats

Day 18: 125 Squats

Day 19: 50 Squats

Day 20 Rest Day

Day 21: 145 Squats

Day 22: 80 Squats 

Day 23: 40 Squats

Day 24: 100 Squats

Day 25: Rest Day

Day 26: 75 Squats

Day 27: 50 Squats (3 Days left!!!)

Day 28: 150 Squats

Day 29: 95 Squats

Day 30: 175 Squats YOU MADE IT!

Okay so here we go, let's get to work! But just a few more things before we do; don't be discouraged if the going gets tough, remember this is a challenge. If you have to break the squats up into several sets, then do it, but the goal in all of this is to keep going. Also, check yourself, don't sell yourself short by deciding to break things up before you even try, push yourself, you will be surprised you are stronger than you think! Good luck, stick with it, I'll be challenging myself right along with you! 

Sincerely, 

    Kaity